Green round the Gills

Geoff Fletcher

When I shared a flat in Ealing many moons ago in my BBC days, a pal of mine bought an antique mini chamberpot at a junk sale. He boiled and scoured the thing for what seemed a week or so and then thought it a great wheeze to use it as a giant sized tea mug.  

It was fine until he dropped it one day and released the most disgusting stench of stale aged urine from the brown pores in the edges of the shards of porcelain the potty was reduced to! He went a bit green about the gills, to say the least, as the possible ramifications of his weeks of bravado tea drinking sank in. Of course, those of us who witnessed the event were highly amused and totally unsympathetic!

And when did it become the norm to go to a  cinema and spend the entire time eating? You don’t starve to death in two hours! And why that disgusting popcorn? Another  import  from the US of A I guess, along with Trick or Treat at Halloween!

Pat Heigham

Having attended a multiplex in Yeovil, whilst staying with  Somerset friends, I was put off with the odour of hamburgers and onions in the foyer. This again goes along with USA imports.

However, some years ago, when the Odeon, Guildford was converted to a single large screen, (punters sat in the circle), with two mini cinemas fitted underneath the circle, probably 16mm from the quality and screen size, the problem was sound leakage from the main screen.  I was pleased though, that a lass wheeled in an airline type trolley ready to dispense G&Ts – nice!

The little cinema in Reigate also allows one to take your drinks into the auditorium, and the bar is just behind the back seating!

Bob Foley – a splendid ex-BBC colleague used to operate at the Regal, Cranleigh (sadly demolished and flats now built on site). I visited one afternoon, and was irritated by a couple of biddies nattering away, two rows ahead.  This was during the ads, but I was about to remonstrate with them if it continued during the main feature! Luckily not!

My film going used to be limited to screenings run by the Joint Cine Guilds at Pinewood’s Theatre 7 (now renamed the John Barry Theatre). This was the ultimate cinema, used by DOPs and sound mixers to evaluate the rushes. Pinewood decided that it was so good that they installed a dubbing desk in the very best seats! I gave up going, as it was a 65 mile round trip, but no crackling sweetie papers or popcorn! Some of the films shown were US productions, and I had difficulty understanding the dialogue, in spite of the superb sound systems that T7 offered. So I now rent the DVD or BluRay and view at home, with the subtitles switched on!

 

ianfootersmall